Thrones Of Heaven

Tonight I had the pleasure of carpooling to an event with three other woman of God. We enjoyed our ½ hour drive down and then again on the way home. During our trip we discussed many different topics; work, children, husbands, church, etc. But I must admit I was asked a question about heaven tonight that I have never, ever imagined or considered. “Do you think we will go potty in heaven?” So what do you think? All I could come up with at the time is that the Bible does talk about ‘thrones’ in heaven.

On that note I’m done for the day and will head off to bed feeling blessed that I have such a diverse group of friends. Thanks ladies

Cows

When I was young probably 3 or 4 I would say Cow is such a way that my Uncle Jack would laugh. When ever we would go to visit him he would load us all into the car and go for a drive to find some cows grazing in the pasture just so he could hear me say cow. I really don’t remember these trips but even today, some 45+ years later my mother still talks about it.

I was thinking about this afternoon as my husband and I were driving back from Sultan and we past a few cows out in a pasture. Often when I am out driving with Kyle I point out the cows for my own pleasure. I laugh because I do it to harass my husband; he has worked in the meat industry for his entire career so to him there is a clear distinction between cows and cattle. I tried to explain to him that to us layman, a cow is the generic term for a bovine, but no, cow only means something that you milk for dairy purposes. Cattle are what you raise for meat. There is no gray area with him. That is one of the greatest qualities in my husband that everything is black and white. So today I didn’t say it but I thought to myself cows and smiled. I love you dear.

Amazing

To study a spider web and its detail is amazing

To watch an eagle soar is amazing

To view the Grand Canyon is amazing

To sit and watch the sun set is amazing

To witness the Northern Lights is amazing

Only God can truly amaze us.

All In Just 60 Minutes

Tonight I went and watched Katelynn, my granddaughter play soccer. Is there anything more intense than watching 6 year olds play soccer? The games last about an hour including a short break at half time. So in that one hour I watched as Katelynn chased after the ball, got kicked in the foot and had to come out with an injury, pulled herself together and went back in the game, was aggressively getting the ball on every play, always wanting to be in the center after a goal was scored, scoring her first goal of the season, directing the other kids on the field, getting hit in the face with a kicked ball during halftime, telling everyone what goal they were going towards after half time, scoring her second goal of the game, shaking hands at the end of the game and having a treat at the end of the game.

I totally enjoy watching her pour her all into soccer and just about everything else she does. Oh to be six again.

: - )

I have heard it said that you can tell anyone anything as long as you smile. I am an engineer, I think like an engineer, I react like an engineer; I am an engineer. So what does that mean? It means that I don’t usually have a lot of fluff in my language, I am on task and I am direct. Now this gets me into trouble and can scare some people.

For the last two weeks I have been working 12 plus hour days doing everything it takes to get some demo equipment out to various people around the world. Yesterday morning I was checking on some orders that needed to go out today and found out that we had run out of the pieces to make this equipment and wouldn’t have more for a couple of weeks. So trying to be the team player I call up the guy that is suppose to be in charge and tell him we don’t have any more parts and I make a suggestion how we can do a few things and meet the most pressing needs. So this guy gets upset with me and ends up going to my boss because I wouldn’t ship the demos. Duh, we don’t have the parts, I guess I wasn’t smiling enough when I told him how to get around it.

So I have decided that I will start using emoticons in my emails and so that when I am just stating facts people don’t miss understand that I am not attaching them. So what is an emoticon, it is a smiley or a sequence of characters on your computer keyboard. If you don't see it, try tilting your head to the left -- the colon represents the eyes, the dash represents the nose and the right parenthesis represents the mouth. They are called emoticons because they intend to convey emotion!

Here are a few that I would have liked to use today:

>:-( Annoyed

(:- Blank expression

: -@! Cursing – ;-) Just kidding

;-, like, duh

: - s makes no sense

:-> sarcastic

Stuck In Traffic

Traffic: Data transmitted over a network. Traffic is a very general term and typically refers to overall network usage at a given moment. Data transmitted over a network, our brain is a network and there is a lot of traffic at any given time going through our brains. We think about our family, our friends, our spouses, work, our schedules, winterizing the yard, cleaning the windows, buying new cloths, paying our bills; all traffic in our brains.

I know for me I sometimes I get too much traffic or too many thoughts running through my brain. Thoughts of what I need to get done, thoughts of all the issues that need to be resolved at work, thoughts of what I would like to do for my friends and family, thought about the day to day things. There are just times when the thoughts are just overwhelming or I get stuck in traffic.

Being stuck in traffic is when I let too many meaningless thoughts get in the way. It is like being caught on the freeway behind an accident and there is no way to go forward and no place to get off. It is the meaningless thoughts that distract us from our purpose and goals. These thoughts will lead us to places that we really don’t want to be, into confusion, anger, and hurt to name a few.

For me I keep the data flowing so much better when I take care of the physical body; getting enough sleep, getting some exercise and eating regularly. Taking care of me is like being in the car pool lane during rush hour. My thoughts stay focused and I accomplish so much more.

Are you ‘stuck in traffic’?

Which One First?

I stopped on the way home from work tonight and picked up both books. Now I just have to pick which one to read first, oh the dilemma.

I will probably read the Grisham first, Sparks are usually more thought provoking.

I Just Don’t Want To Know

Back on May 25th I posted a blog about one of my Memorable Experiences –The Big C. I have heard a number of different studies that say that once a person has had to face cancer they tend not to go back to the doctor for regular check ups after the first year or so. To most people that seems strange. I was talking to one of my co-workers just the other day and she was talking about the fact that because her mother is a cancer survivor she goes on a regular basis to be checked herself. It would only seem natural that if you have been through that you would want to stay up to date on the newest break through in treatment. That is what I used to think.

Now that I have sat there and heard doctors talk about the cancer that was in my body I can honestly say I just don’t want to know. I don’t want to know what the latest treatment is, I don’t want to know what my long term prognosis is, I don’t want that word “cancer” spoken over me again by a doctor. You may think that I just have my head in the sand but that is what I really feel like. You see the battle with cancer is much greater than with the cells that invade your body. Long after the cancer cells are gone the battle still is being fought within the mind, a battle to not let the thoughts over take you.

I have a person in my life that I respect deeply and I made a commitment to her that I would get an annual mammogram and that is the only reason I get one each year, out of respect for her. I really just don’t want to know.


By the way, last week I got the results of this year’s exam – “No evidence of cancer”. Praise You Jesus!

Swept Under The Rug

House cleaning is one of those things that must be done, but is never fun. I spent six hours today doing a deep cleaning of our house. Usually I clean one room each night during the week because I really don’t like to clean and that way I have my Saturday for other fun things.

How often are there areas in our lives that should be cleaned out as well? We think we can continue to stuff the junk deeper and deeper inside but when least expected or when we are tired and cranky the junk sneaks out for everyone to see.

Cleaning is not fun whether it is cleaning the house or cleaning up something within, but one thing I know is that if you don’t clean it just gets worse.

Lost or Hiding?

How often do animals and children give us great practical examples of the Lords love for us? Luke 15:4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? I had one of those lessons last night. I came home from work and because it was almost time to feed the cats I realized that I hadn’t seen one of them. I run though the house looking under the beds, in the closets, under and around the furniture, through the garage and even in the cupboards thinking she may have gotten in one and the door was shut on her by mistake. No Poppy. I then find out that she might have had an opportunity to get out side when a couple of Girl Scouts came to the door to collect canned goods. Being outside wouldn’t be too bad for a normal cat, but this cat has never been outside out side of a cat carrier, she was purchased from a pet store and when she was given to us she didn’t know how to clean herself. Our other cat has taught her what it is to be a cat so if she was outside she would be coyote bait for sure.

For the next three hours I alternate from re-looking under beds and around the house; to walking up and down the street calling her name and shaking her food jug (this usually brings her running); to sitting on the couch praying for her safety and the Lord’s wisdom on where she might be. Finally at 11pm I just go to bed.

At 3am Kyle’s alarm goes off and I get up and go to the door again and call for Poppy. I go back up to the bedroom and wait to pray with Kyle before he leaves (something we do every day) and then I hear this faint cry. Could it be? I stand still for a moment and I hear it again, it is coming from the closet in our bedroom. I run in there and turn on the light and there coming out from behind some boxes is Poppy. She had been in our room probably in the closet the whole night. I’m not sure why she didn’t come out, usually when she gets in our room (it is a hair free zone and the cats aren’t allowed there) she crawls in bed with us during the night and then gets thrown out. All I can figure is that she knows she wasn’t suppose to be in there and was afraid to come out.

We are just like that cat at the times when we do something we know is wrong and then instead of just going to the Lord who is calling for us and wanting to love us and who is concerned for our safety we try and hide from Him just like Adam and Eve did in the garden. We will hide in a place where we miss out on the blessing and comfort and ultimately the Lord just wants to bless us.

A Question For You

How would you answer this question, “How can I be a better friend”? By definition a friend is a person whom one knows, likes and trusts. Friends will welcome each other’s company and show loyalty. Friends share in each others experiences, hardship and exchanging advice. Friends desire what is best for the other, offer honesty and truth.

How can I be a better friend? I could allow those that are my friends to get nearer and not hold them out. I could trust my friends more and share the deepest parts of me. I could go out of my way to spend more time with them.

How can I be a better friend?

Defined: To give form or meaning to

In mathematics, defined and undefined are used to explain whether or not expressions have meaningful, sensible output. For the last few days I have been thinking about what defines me. What is it that makes my life meaningful and provides a sensible output?

Every human has a need to be loved, needed and safe. It is these three needs that drive us to do everything we do, we work very hard to fulfill these eternal needs.

For many of us women we grow up and are led to believe that we are only going to be fulfilled when we are a wife and mother. We look at boyfriends, husbands, and family to love us like we are meant to love. No other human can completely meet this need in us.

Our need to be needed or have worth drives us to work at the “money” jobs instead of our hearts desire. We strive to be #1 in everyone’s eyes and always fall short when we focus on pleasing people.

Being safe is a need that manifest in needing a sense of security and protection. We settle for less in relationships and jobs for the security instead of chasing our dreams. We don’t risk being hurt and therefore don’t pursue deep relationships.

When I try to fulfill these needs with my own instincts and desires, I experience boredom, frustration, and sorrow. These basic needs are placed in us by God and only our Savior can meet these needs.

His love endures for ever and is perfect. He has a plan and a purpose for our lives and once we know that we no longer question if we are needed or fit where He has placed us. Finally, there is an eternal security in that God Himself will never leave us or forsake us and we have an Eternal destiny with Him.

I struggle to remember who my creator is at times and that I don’t have to make a way for myself. He has created me in His image and has a defined purpose for me that I only need to seek him for and then I will be fulfilled. No job, relationship, or possession will ever fulfill me completely.

My Gaggle of Grannies

Because of Parkinson's my mother lives in an assisted living residence. She is in her mid-70s and is rather young compared to the other residents, most of them are in their late 80 or early 90s. I visit my mom at her place at least a couple of times a week, usually on Sunday when I pick her up and take her to church and then again on Tuesday’s when I drop off her clean laundry. These visits have become an event for a few of the other residents.

I call them my Gaggle of Grannies. Some of them I know by name others, we just smile at each other. I make it a point to greet them all and ask how there day is going, even when I am in a hurry and need to get back to work. The few moments I spend with these ladies is more important than anything else I may have going at that very moment. I wish I could find the words to describe the sparkle that blazes in their eyes when you do something as simple as say hi. That look of recognition, that look of thanks, that look of pure appreciation, what better look is there. These ladies have lived, loved and survived life and now as they rest in the balance of their days, it is the simple things that make the biggest impact.

I smile at them, but what they give me in return can not be expressed. How simple it is and I thank God for my Gaggle of Grannies; they bring meaning, value and worth to my life.

Crushed

On August 23rd I posted an entry (Do I Dare) about asking for something that I wanted so deeply, so intensely that my body physically shook when thinking about it. I talked about how I struggle to really ask for what I want because of the number of great disappointments I have had in my life.

We all experience disappointment: troubled relationships, poor job evaluations, bad test scores, death of a loved one, health challenges, social snubs or athletic loss. Disappointment is a part of life. Disappointment is when the circumstance or our life don’t meet our highest expectation. When we experience deep disappointment we actually feel a loss and we grieve. Grief is a normal response to loss. It can be the loss of a home, job, marriage, or a loved one. Grief is painful and at times seems unbearable. It is a combination of many emotions that come and go; the emotions of shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression, and acceptance.

I dared to ask for a deep desire, for more than I felt was possible. I dared to expect the unexpected and it didn’t come to pass. I was disappointed and quite honestly I was crushed. It has been only a few days since I found out and I have felt a number of emotions and now I purpose to continue doing what I know to do; to continue to breathe in and out, to continue to find purpose in my life even though my heart truly aches inside my chest. I am crushed, but I cannot let myself be broken. I want to withdraw and quit, but that isn’t an option. For some reason the Lord made me a fighter and I will continue to fight, it just may take a day or so to get back in the fight.

We can avoid disappointment if we want. When we don’t dream we are never let down. When we don’t risk life becomes a rut. When we don’t expect we are never disappointed. When we don’t hope life becomes hopeless.

Yes, I will dare again.

Could You Disconnect?

Last night as a group of us were getting ready to leave work, I was talking with one of my peers about where she was going on vacation for a week. Then I noticed that she was packing up her laptop to take with her. One of the things that I have been thinking about lately is whether or not I could take a Technology Break. What I mean is could I go three days without a cell phone or computer, really disconnect. I started thinking about this a few weeks ago when I was taking my mom the fair and as I left the house I realized I didn’t have my cell phone with me. I gasped and actually considered turning around to go back and get it. Now is that an attachment or what. The first thing I do when ever I get in my car is check to see if I have my cell phone with me. There are many statistics out there that say that business people don’t really leave the office any more, they are always connected via phone or email, even at night and on vacations. Why do you think most resort hotels offer Hi Speed Internet or Wi-Fi now, it is for the business person on vacation.

So I asked my peer if she was planning on using her computer on vacation, she said she would be checking emails and try and only do it every other day. I told her I wanted her to try and not do it and I would buy her lunch if she stayed off of email. She said no she didn’t think she could do it. Then I offered her $100 if she could stay off of work email for 5 days. Guess what she turned me down, knowing she wouldn’t be able to do it.

So here’s the question, am I that important that the company couldn’t get by if I didn’t check my email or carry my cell phone for three days? I think not, so the next question is could I not be connected for three days? What about you?

I Gave Into Temptation

I have to admit it; I gave into temptation this morning. I should be ashamed of myself. It happened this morning on the drive into work. I was creeping along as we usually do and finally get to the traffic light where the road widens into two lanes going both directions. As I approach the intersection the light turns red and I end up being first at the light in the outside lane. I’m really not paying much attention to what is going on around me; I’m thinking about everything that I have going on at work. The light turns green and I take off, then I realize that the car next to me is ‘winding up’. You see it is one of those little things that kids today call street racers; it is all tricked out and has a muffler on it that makes it “sound” fast, with the special chrome wheels and is bright red with tinted windows. This thing decided to take off fast like it’s a drag race.

I come from a generation where REAL muscle cars were something like this GTO. Something with a 440 engine and didn’t need an over sized muffler to sound fast. It was and sounded fast right off the assembly line. As I realize this thing is trying to go fast I take the challenge. I step on the accelerator and blow this guy away. I laughed out loud as I easily pulled away from this thing as it tried to go through the gears. Imagine how embarrassed that driver was when the realization hit that a mini-van just left his Rod in the dust.

I gave into temptation this morning and loved every minute of it. Maybe I should consider some new wheels for my rod.

11 more days

September 24th is the day that two of my favorite authors have new releases.

Sleep?

Why is it that sleep is fleeting when you most need it? This past Monday morning (or should I say night) I woke up at 2:30 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I ended up staying in bed, trying not to wake up Kyle until 3:30. I got up and got ready and went into work. I got there about 4:45, two hours early. At about 8am my day fell apart and I spent the balance of the day trying to find a solution for yet another crisis. I ended up leaving the office on Monday at 6:45 making it a 14-hour day.

It has been pretty much like that all this week, both the waking up early and battling one crisis after another at work. Here it is Wednesday night at 7:20 and I will finish this up and go to bed. If I don’t I’m afraid this will be me tomorrow at that office.

Look Up

It is amazing to look up and see the great view. But what if we stop there and only enjoy the view? How often do we see someone that we look up to, we look up to them for what they do or what they have achieved. We talk about someday we would like to be where they are at. But are we willing to climb the rocks, work hard, and maybe stumble along the way to get there? I bet if we had a chance to talk to those people that we look up to they would tell us more about the climb than about where they are at.

Remember no matter how great the view is looking up, there is so much more to see once you climb higher.

Forever Etched

The day Kennedy was shot, that is probably the first historical event in my life that I remember. I remember being in elementary school and hearing an announcement come over the PA telling us that the President had been shot.

The day Nixon resigned. I was attending Freshman orientation at college with my mom and we had just completed a briefing when they excused us all to go and watch the news conference in the student center.

The day my pastors died in a plane crash, I walked out of work, got into my car and turned it on. The radio announcer announced that Flight 263 had crashed. I knew deep inside me that they were on that plane. It wasn’t confirmed until a few hours later as I drove around the corner to attend the regularly scheduled prayer meeting and the parking lot was full.

September 11, 2001. I was in the convention center in downtown Atlanta, Georgia preparing for the start of a 4 day tradeshow. We were already on the show floor when the 1st plane struck and had no access to TV. The only reports we were getting were from the few people that started to enter for the tradeshow. Our youngest son was on a flight supposed to be coming home from England headed for Seattle.

Dates that are etched in our lives; dates when our world seemed a little smaller. Over the years and for years to come, we are asked and will ask, “Where were you when…..”? These stories and more will be replayed in various ways, but always we will remember.

Sunday Drive

Today as I was driving my mom home from church I remembered the Sunday drives we would take when I was a child. Our family didn’t have much money in those days; I remember a lot of pancakes and cereal for dinner. It was always a treat when we would go for a Sunday drive. Sometimes these would have a destination in mind, other times we would be loaded up into the car and just go for a drive in the country. In less than an hour of driving we would find ourselves out on a country road sometimes paved, sometimes not; taking our time because the whole purpose was just to look at the scenery and be together as a family.

In the spring we would see the farmers planting the new seeds. The earth was a deep brown almost black as the tractor would turn it over and add the new seeds. The soil rich with nutrients is the smell of spring for me; even today as I plant flowers I remember those fields and the hope for a bountiful harvest later.

During the summer the drives were less frequent because of the heat, no air-conditioning then. When we did go it was usually out toward the water and maybe we would end up driving along Lake Huron where we would pull over along the side of the road and get to play in the waves for a few hours. Always a great drive home, napping in the seat with sand still between our toes.

My favorite drives were in the fall when the harvest was being brought in and we would head out to the apple orchard. The orchard had a working water wheel in a stream that would provide the power for the cider press. We would stand there our hand on the rails and our eyes just above the bar as we watched them load the press with apples and then pull a lever and the pressure would be applied to squeeze out the sweet juice of the apples. Fresh cider was then strained and poured into cups right there on the spot. Once we got our cup of cider we headed over to where they were making old fashioned fry cakes in a deep fryer. Still warm, each bite more melting in your mouth than being chewed. Fresh cider and fry cake donuts are the perfect food, but only if you get it fresh from the apple orchard.

So today take a Sunday drive with the family and make a memory, get off of the highway and find a place were you can just explore all that there is and dream of what is yet to come.

Writing

I have struggled the last few days to write and as you have probably noticed what I have written has not been of a quality I would have liked to post. I sit here and wonder what to post today, I feel the need to post something each day and yet struggle to make sure there is some value to what I write. Isn’t that like the life we live each day, we struggle and wonder what we should do and if what we do really matters in the bigger picture.

As I sit here and write this my husband is watching a moving The Astronaut Farmer, and he made the statement when he broke through the atmosphere and into space, “this is where dreams live.” Well as he said that I realized that even though I sometimes struggle to write for me this is where dreams live. Writing is my dream and even though I struggle to write something profound, it makes my dream no less real.

Heat Required

The other day before I left for work I prepared a meal in the crock pot. I use a timer to turn the crock pot on and off a the right amount of time depending on what I am cooking. I had made sure the time was set and would work correctly and took off. A little later in the morning I got a text message from one of the guys that lives in our house asking if the crock pot was suppose to be on? Apparently I had set the timer but hadn’t actually turned the crock pot on.

I had originally intended the crock pot to cook on LOW for 7.5 hrs, turning off after Kyle got home so dinner would be ready when he got there. Now since it hadn’t turned on at the right time, it had to cook for 3.5 hrs on HIGH. In the end the “Sweet and Spicy Chicken turned out perfectly.

I was thinking about it on the way home tonight and two lessons came to mind. First, for some things to turn out right heat is required. That meal would have been uneatable if there hadn’t been any heat. How many times to we complain when we are in a situation where the heat is turned on? It is in those times that we really find out what we can handle and the time of greatest growth.

The second thought was how often do we delay the heat by trying to avoid being in a tough situation only to make it tougher in the end. In our lives if we just step into the tough situations at the beginning the LOW heat is easier to handle. If we avoid then usually the heat is turned up on HIGH.

A Misnomer

Why is it called Rush Hour? If you think about it I don’t know many places where “Rush Hour” is only an hour long. Around here it usually last from 5am to 10 am; not quite a ‘rush HOUR’. Ok, what about the rush part? For me I only have to travel 12 miles, door to door to get to work and average 5 mph. Now considering the average walking speed is 3 mph, I wouldn’t consider that ‘rushing’.

I guess the Hour part could actually be true in my case, yep it takes me one hour each morning to travel 12 miles. What is even more amazing is that prior to a recent two year construction project being completed it only took 40 – 45 minutes. The Road Improvement actually increased my commute time by 15 to 20 minutes; another misnomer.

Where Has Summer Gone?

This morning as I was sitting looking out my window, reading and praying as I do every morning. I noticed that it is now dark again when I get up. It seems like it was only days ago that I would get up and sit in my chair and the sun would be rising and I was considering playing a quick nine holes of golf before I went to work, now it is too dark for that and I have missed my chance for another year.

We just completed the Labor Day Holiday weekend, which signals an end to another summer. Where did this summer go?

It was in early June that I was finally able to get back into my own shoes after having foot surgery in March. Still my foot is most comfortable when I am barefoot on the carpet or in the lawn. Too bad I can’t run around barefoot all winter.

Strawberry, raspberry and blueberry seasons have come and gone, now we start to enjoy the fresh nectarines and peaches that are grown on the other side of the mountains.

I took the opportunity to jump from a 30ft tower this summer, now I have no intention of repeating that act, but I must admit I am really glad I did it.

I had a couple of unexpected adventures getting my mom to Michigan and back from a visit with my sisters and my niece. Thankfully they are planning on coming our here next year.

Final Michigan Chili Dog tally: Footlongs – 4, Regular – 6.

Our oldest son was married and I officially became a grandmother. As our granddaughter was getting in the car to leave our house yesterday she told her mom that we were the ‘fun’ grandparents; now that sure does the heart good.

There are numerous memories from this summer. Many first and many last and everything else in-between. As the days get shorter and the nights longer we get to look forward to the color change in the leaves, the brisk mornings when there is frost on the ground and the rainy days curled up with a book in front to the fireplace.

Every season has its time; every season has its highlights; the trick is to enjoy the uniqueness of each season and to appreciate the change.

Sunday Afternoon Nap

Is here anything better than an afternoon nap?

People Watching

We went to the fair today and took my sister-in-laws two foster girls with us. Last year when we took them it had been the first time they had ever been at a fair or on a carnival ride. This year they were on every ride they could and there was no holding them back. They are 9 and 6 so it was hard for me to let them ride some of the ones they wanted to be on, but in the end they were blessed to have had the chance to go and enjoy the day.

Kyle and I didn’t do any rides, our purpose was to take them and let them have a good time. However, I get to have fun just people watching. Watching the various sizes and shapes, young and old, happy and sad, all the people attending the fair and looking for something to escape into or enjoy for at least a couple of hours.

Kyle has been a ‘meat man’ since he was 16 years old. His job is to delivery meat to butcher shops and stores. So obviously we have meat with every meal. A couple of years ago we were in a little store in Leavenworth, WA and he found this T-Shirt: PETA – People for the Eating of Tasty Animals. He loves to wear this shirt, but what is more impressive is how many people will come up to him and tell him they love it. People have stopped him in airports, Mariner’s games and on the street. We were stopped no less than 5 times today and there were dozens of others that would stand off to the side and grin and comment on it. I get a kick out of watching everyone else glance his way and then realize what it says.

I’m glad my husband is confident to wear this shirt it always is a bright spot for someone when ever he wears it.