I Just Don’t Want To Know

Back on May 25th I posted a blog about one of my Memorable Experiences –The Big C. I have heard a number of different studies that say that once a person has had to face cancer they tend not to go back to the doctor for regular check ups after the first year or so. To most people that seems strange. I was talking to one of my co-workers just the other day and she was talking about the fact that because her mother is a cancer survivor she goes on a regular basis to be checked herself. It would only seem natural that if you have been through that you would want to stay up to date on the newest break through in treatment. That is what I used to think.

Now that I have sat there and heard doctors talk about the cancer that was in my body I can honestly say I just don’t want to know. I don’t want to know what the latest treatment is, I don’t want to know what my long term prognosis is, I don’t want that word “cancer” spoken over me again by a doctor. You may think that I just have my head in the sand but that is what I really feel like. You see the battle with cancer is much greater than with the cells that invade your body. Long after the cancer cells are gone the battle still is being fought within the mind, a battle to not let the thoughts over take you.

I have a person in my life that I respect deeply and I made a commitment to her that I would get an annual mammogram and that is the only reason I get one each year, out of respect for her. I really just don’t want to know.


By the way, last week I got the results of this year’s exam – “No evidence of cancer”. Praise You Jesus!